Monday, August 17, 2015

Plumbing repair story

Problem:  Toilet tank does not fill.
Solution:  A quick trip to Lowe's for a new valve float tower thingy.
Outcome:  Fastest, simplest home repair ever.

Problem:  What the heck?  Why is the bathroom floor all wet?
Solution: Double-check and tighten all the connections.  Place a bowl under the toilet to catch any dripping.  Wait a while to see if maybe the seals just need to swell up a little or something.
Outcome:  Pending further developments, all seems to be well.

Problem:  Roscoe (Labrador retriever) chooses to drink out of the drip-catching bowl, spilling most of the water.
Why he did that:  All the advantages of delicious, delicious toilet water, without the inconvenience of asking a human to raise the lid for you.
Solution:  Replace drip-catching bowl, raise toilet lid.

Problem:  That must mean the drip catching bowl was catching a significant number of drips.  We must still have a leak.  Investigate.  Seems to be leaking from the toilet supply line where it attaches to the new valve float tower thingy.  Bad seal?
Solution:  Another quick trip to Lowe's.  A new toilet supply line with rubber seal thingies is only $0.25 more expensive than the new rubber seal thingies by themselves, so I get a new toilet supply line.
Outcome:  Got the wrong toilet supply line.  There are several possible sizes for the lower connection, such as 1/2 inch, 5/8 inch, and 3/4 inch. 
Solution:  Go back to Lowe's, get the other size.
Outcome:  Nope, still not right.  Ours seems to be 251/410 inch.
Solution:  Dig through trash, recover original toilet supply line and rubber seal thingy.  Re-install.
Outcome:  Still dripping.
Solution:  Let it drip for a while.  Give it a chance to miraculously heal.
Outcome:  Sometimes the Lord is Not Subtle.  The drip worsens.

Analysis:  The drip is present with all permutations of new and old toilet supply line and new and old rubber seal thingies.  The common factor is the new valve float tower thingy. 

Problem:  Perhaps the inlet of the new valve float tower thingy is itself faulty or ill-manufactured.
Solution:  Go to Lowe's again, but this time get the top-of-the-line $18 valve float tower thingy.
Outcome:  While installing the newest $18 valve float tower thingy, notice that the rubber seal thingy on the inside of the tank of the new valve float tower thingy (not the newest $18 valve float tower thingy that I bought this morning, but, rather, the one I bought last week) was somehow installed upside down, thus making it impossible for the rubber seal thingy to accomplish that it was designed to accomplish.

Analysis:  I must have installed the afore-mentioned rubber seal thingy without paying sufficient attention to the instructions provided with the valve float tower thingy, thus exhibiting the sin of hubris.

Result:  Express one's frustration, humiliation and embarrassment through the media of blasphemy and obscenity.  Invent, through purely description means, of course, and not by demonstration, a new form of deviant sexual behavior involving noted religious figures, pig nipples, Viking helmets and swim fins. 

Obvious solution:  Install rubber seal thingy in correct orientation.

Problem:  I have added the sin of blasphemy to the sin of hubris.  Sometimes the Lord is Not Subtle.  Approximately half-way through the re-installation process the shut off valve at the base of the toilet now fails, delivering approximately 250 gallons of water per second into my face.
Solution:  Send Dad out front to shut off the water supply to the house as a whole.  Complete the re-installation of the new valve float tower thingy (not the $18 valve float tower thingy, but the one I bought last week) with the rubber seal thingy in the correct orientation, using the original, 20 year old toilet supply line.  Ignore the failure of the shut off valve at the base of the toilet.  Place newest $18 valve float tower thingy and new toilet supply line in closet.  Note that there is now a great deal of room in the closet, as every towel we own is currently soaking up water on the bathroom floor.
Outcome:  Uncertain.  It is difficult to know if the re-installation is dripping, as EVERYTHING IN THE BATHROOM IS NOW DRIPPING.


Observation:  I have four college degrees.  
Significance:  Unknown.

1 comment:

  1. This is a truly good site post. Not too many people would actually, the way you just did. I am really impressed that there is so much information about this subject that have been uncovered and you’ve done your best, with so much class. If wanted to know more about green smoke reviews, than by all means come in and check our stuff. Drain Cleaning

    ReplyDelete